Frankly Told: Momento
As the last stroke completed the sketch, he breathed a sigh of relief. He took one last look over the detail and shut the book, with his pencil wedged between the pages.
The grass tickled his half-exposed thighs causing him to readjust his shorts. The sun beat down on him but he sat there, convinced it was what he needed. Closing his eyes, he faced the skies to take in the last of the afternoon rays before leaving but he was distracted by shuffling behind him.
“I knew it was you!” her voice cut through his peace. “I knew it was your car parked there! Heyy!”
He sighed deeply and opened his eyes. Inside he could feel the well that had seemed to still, begin to swirl and some discomforting rage budded within him.
“What are you up to on this side of the world?” She asked in the same excitement, not reading the atmosphere. “Like, Nairobi ni dot!”
“I was,” He pushed out, trying to maintain his calm demeanour as he started to gather his belongings. “Just leaving.”
“Oh! Well, I came to hang with a couple of friends and I saw your car here and thought, maybe if I look around I might find you and hey! I found you in the first place I looked.” she exploded with words, he cringed. “Isn’t that weird? Although I thought that maybe I had mistaken your car because, to be honest, I have been drinking a little so I thought maybe it was just a hallucination. I mean, what are the odds, right?”
Not odd enough, he thought as he rose to his feet, turning to face her. She looked beautiful. Her sundress gently flowing in the wind, her braided hair in her signature high-low style and her face barely made up, if only some lipgloss and eyeliner, yet she was a sight to behold. He hated how his insides recoiled and turned in on themselves, which made him unsure of how he felt.
“Sounds like you are here for a good time,” he said in a deadpan tone. “Well, all yours. Enjoy yourselves.”
He took a step forward and lost balance on the gentle incline causing him to embarrassingly drop to one knee but he played it off as if he was picking the sling bag, in which he had stuffed his things. Looking up, he could tell she was trying to stifle a smile and he could almost read slight concern in her eyes. Don’t act like you care now, he thought. As he began his short ascent to the parking lot, she stepped in his line of travel. He almost clicked his tongue. She looked saddened by his stiff response and it showed in her eyes.
“Can I just ask, how are you?” she asked in a nearly serious voice.
Wouldn’t you like to know, he shouted mentally.
“I’m fine,” he resigned if only to have her let him pass. “Thank you for asking.”
“Oh, that’s good to hear,” she responded. “How is school? Is that going well?”
“It’s fine.”
“Awesome! What about home? How are your parents and siblings? I saw your sister-” she prodded, further burning his fuse.
“What are you doing?” he shot at her, a little sharper than he intended.
“I’m just asking you how you are,” she explained.
The side of his mouth twitched and his hand clenched around the strap of his bag. There was slight discomfort in the air and he could feel all sense start to evaporate from him as she stood before him, he could smell the alcohol in her breath but her perfume still smacked his nose with strength, weakening him ever so slightly. In an attempt to grab hold of himself before his emotions got the best of him, he took a couple of steps forward without intent to move her out of the way.
“Well, could you not.” He hissed through his teeth, walking up to her.
She stepped to the side to allow him past and right when he thought he had made it through, she grabbed his free arm. Weakness flowed through his arm and down his torso to his legs.
“Let go,” he spoke, barely above a whisper.
“Talk to me,” she pleaded softly. “Please.”
“Your friends are probably looking for you. You should go to them.” he spat.
“I haven’t talked to you in so long, why have you been ignoring me?” she pulled on him. “I miss you.”
“Don’t you dare,” he growled.
His emotions flared as the memories flashed before his eyes and his sense came back to him, holding hands with his resolve. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He was not going to lose the peace he made with the situation and he was not going to consign himself back to the shell of his former self before her eyes.
“Do not start with me. I am not going to stand here and let myself fall for you again. After what you did, I am not going to let you just walk back into my vulnerability like you did not just walk all over it. I am not about to just “talk" to you again. My trust does not come that easily. You know that! You knew that and you still decided to-” he paused and he spoke slower. “ You miss me? What do you expect, that I will just say I miss you back and we can go back to the way things were? Do you even know what it is like to get to the point where you are wondering what you are worth? Whether you are missed or worth even missing?”
He hated how this anger felt superficial but he could not allow himself to feel anything else, knowing if he did, she would waste no time in taking full advantage of that and he would not be bested twice, in the same way. He had just collected his pride in all its shattered pieces. Although he still cared deeply for her, he hurt. She didn’t deserve his sympathies anymore, he could not afford her any for the way she twisted his affection for her.
“Now, if you would let me go, I have to get home,” he said, sternly.
Her grip loosened and dropped. He pulled his arm back to himself, torn by the words he spoke to her. Standing upright, he swang his bag over his shoulder and away flew his car keys but before he could bend down, she scooped them up and there was a beat. Her eyes glued to the keys that sat in her hand, he turned around with his hand, paused and outstretched, waiting for her to place them in it. Their eyes met.
“Where is it?” her voice broke, as tears lined her eyes.
