Frankly Told: For The Reason
The EKG machine beeped. His breathing was slow and deep; almost as if it was preparing to push all the air out of his lungs one last time. The room was quiet. Tears traced canyons in faces and no one had the intention to wipe off their demonstration of love.
She cradled his hand in hers, tenderly. She caressed every vein like braille and her soul could read every last show of life from within him. It had been a long journey and she could feel bitterness wrap itself around her heart; that had lied that it had made peace with the inevitable. She closed her eyes to stop the tears but her throat burned.
“My love,” he whispered in a raspy voice.
She leaned in almost instinctually. His hand traced its way up her forearm but did not get past the elbow. She opened her eyes slowly and met his with pained love. His eyelids were near prisoners to each other. Still, he strained to keep them open. His every breath felt thinner than the last.
She looked at the little gathering in the room. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding and with a nod, the adults ushered the little ones out of the room and shut the door behind them. They were alone.
“I keep thinking to myself,” he went on, between long pauses for air. “I am so glad to have you here with me.”
“Save your strength,” she whispered in response.
She palmed his cheek. The sunset seemed to tease her with beautiful endings but nothing about that felt beautiful.
“You’ve been strong enough for so long,” she smiled weakly. “Day in, day out. Many times I forgot to tell you that I saw you being strong. Even when we fought. Even when I wanted to hate you and the way you were treating us when you were just trying to provide everything for this house.”
A smile tried to race across his face but tired out halfway.
“The number of times that me, in all my pessimism, gave up on things but you just held me there. Truly, I can crown myself the luckiest woman in the world to have had a man like you by me.”
A scoff escaped his airways. She chuckled
“I get to say this without you arguing against me finally,” she smiled. “I always used to struggle with that perspective that you held of yourself. It is difficult to see this warrior in my life keep talking down their spear as if it was not sharp enough. It killed me.”
“So allow me to say it. You are nothing short of the greatest man to walk this planet. I am forever indebted to the powers that be for blessing me with the opportunity to be loved by you. I will tell of your stories far and wide. If they should ask me for an example of what a man looks like I will tell them of you. Show them a picture that you in fact did exist.”
Tears welled up in his eyes and his lips quivered.
“I say this without fear of contradiction. You, my husband, are that guy.” she half smiled at him as tears started their journey down her face.
“You know, I remember that one time,” she reminisced. “The day I knew you loved me deeply and truly. It was still in our campus days, I remember. There was a party somewhere outside of town. I wanted us to go together but you, unfortunately, had papers to do. I still remember the struggle it was to try and enjoy it without you. I remember replacing laughter with drinks to hype myself with the girls.”
“I remember as much as I could of that night,” she swallowed bitterly. “I remember blacking out and waking up to the party closing down and everyone leaving. How the person who gave us a ride there left us there without a care in the world. How we struggled to get a cab and failed. I remember fighting with myself to call you. I remember you picking up after two rings and without saying much just commanded that you were coming.”
“I don’t remember how you got to us, whose car you had borrowed if it was the neighbour’s or a friend’s or your father’s,” she cried freely. “I remember you shivering in the night with only your pajamas on. You didn’t even clean your face of the sleep. How my girls praised you. You diligently dropped everyone home and made sure we got into our houses before you went home.”
“I was angry with myself partially, that I had gotten in the way of your sleep ahead of that big test,” she sniffled. “I know you remember how happy I was when you told me you had passed.”
A smile stretched his lips weakly. His teeth split the pink of his lips in a way that handled her heart with warmth.
“How did you do it?” she asked, “I asked God even, how did he do it? How did He fit all these things into you and make it so easy for you? Not that I don’t think that you didn’t have bad times but even those times, you carried them with so much grace.”
“I did my best to try and show you every day just the kind of man you are to me,” she exhaled. “The man you are to your friends, colleagues, mentees, juniors, brothers in Christ, family… God I wish I had more time to show you!”
She kissed her teeth and wiped her tears.
“I hate that I have to leave so soon,” he said.
“Sooner or later,” she wept bitterly. “Neither would be enough. Still… You have held on. I don’t know what reason you have but I will be fine to carry your love on with me. Thank you for giving me just a few more moments with you. Is there reason to suffer any longer here?”
“For the reason…” he expired.
