Frankly Told: A Drop in the Ocean
The cold air bit at his exposed calves with a hunger, robbing him of the little warmth he had left and leaving him shivering. The coarse concrete underneath his bare feet pricking him like a thousand tiny needles.
He stood on the parapet of his fifteen-storey office building watching the headlights race down below. The sounds of honking horns and loud matatu conductors yelling out to the last customers of the day shrinking back into white noise. He took in a deep breath, so cold it stung a little on its way down but not enough to pull him out of himself. How long he had stood there, he couldn’t tell. The time, he couldn’t tell either. All he could tell you was that he had come to watch the sun set and it had, a long while past. He watched the city transform into its nightlife form. Lights and music from the bars and bistros that shed their daytime restaurant veils spilled out of windows and balconies.
“There you are! I’ve been waiting for you in the parking for hours… Babe?” a voice called from behind him, startling him a little.
Without turning his head, he picked out the ownership of the voice and simply smiled at the warmth the sound brought to his soul. He swayed gently, not to the push of the wind but to the pull of gravity.
“Babe, what are you doing?” the voice came through again, loud enough to cut through the breeze but soft enough to tease vulnerability out of him.
“Why are you barefoot?” it asked. “Please, come down from there. It isn’t safe there. Babe?”
He closed his eyes and let the smells overwhelm his senses. The putrid smell of smoke and rubbish. The almost distant scent of the side-walk vendors that fried arrays of meats and foods for the customers who stopped by for a snack on their way home.
“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot today.” He started with his eyes closed.
“What have you been thinking about?” the voice asked.
“I’ve been thinking about how odd this concept of life is. Do we just live to die? Or do we spend most of our time dying to live? Are we just masquerading in our shoes claiming to be living, yet we are still only just dying?”
“What do you mean?” the voice inquired, sounding a little closer. A bit more scared.
His eyes opened slowly and looked down to the waves of life in motion metres below him.
“Look at all those people. Each one has their own vast life story to tell. Their own experiences. Their own emotions. Their own spark. They are all ‘someone’. They exist in their own little worlds and probably have more depth to life in their pockets than the people within this building. They are giants in their own ways,” he scoffed. “Yet, from up here their scale is worth that of an ant in your palm.”
The voice came from right next to him this time, “There is a word for that.”
“Yes,” he exhaled. “Sonder.”
He could almost feel the cautious energy that was holding on to him, to keep him from being a slave to the gravity.
“Why do you fear?” he turned and finally laid eyes on his lover.
“What do you mean ‘ why do I fear’?” she retorted with a crack in her voice. “You are half-drunk, standing on the edge of a building rooftop, barefoot and half-dressed, talking about how life is seemingly meaningless. What more reason do I need to fear?”
“I never said life was meaningless. In fact, this epiphany has me feeling more alive than I did hours ago.” He said. “ Somehow I appreciate my life a little more now than I did, standing in some upper middle class celebration of achievement.”
“Oh. I hear you and I am glad you feel like this but maybe you could still celebrate this new-found high of life with me, down here. By my side, literally?”
He chuckled, “I love you, you know?”
“And I you, babe so come down. We can go home and finish the rest of the night like we had planned.” she pleaded.
He rotated his whole body dangerously, turning his back to the world. She screamed as he almost lost footing but caught himself and he laughed. Her heart rate was tearing through the skies yet he seemed so nonchalant about it like he wasn’t treading the thin line between life and death. He looked down at her face, contorted in fear and his head tilted and a smile painted itself on his lips.
“Please. Please. Please.” she pleaded, tears in her eyes, voice cracking. Petrified by fear.
“You know, I’m glad I went fishing when I did and I found you. They say there are millions of fish in the sea and maybe I caught the rarest one. Rarerest? Most rare? Rarest… I think that sounds right.” he slurred. “In this world of seas and oceans, I am glad you held on to me. You choose me every day, even when I have no oxygen to offer you. Even when my water doesn’t wet your scales. Even when I think I am the wrong answer.”
“And I will continue to choose you. Until the end of time. Forever.” she almost started to sob.
“Please do.” he said and lost the look of contentment he held.
A single tear broke loose and decided to take its chances down his face but he wiped it off and smiled once more.
“The only one these eyes cry for, even when they aren’t the least bit sad. Now these lips want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?” he joked.
She simply nodded and raised her arms to embrace him as he lowered himself. A blink and his toes only caught air. Before he realized it, he was standing on the heavens hurtling to the ground and the only thing he could hold on to was the sound of her, screaming his name out over and over. He slowly fell into nothing. Into darkness
With a jolt, his body shot up out of bed. A couple of seconds to recollect and come to before he saw her, leaning over him with her hand cupped around his scruffy beard.
“Good morning, I’ve been calling your name over and over. Why is it so hard to wake you? What the hell were you dreaming about? You look like you’ve just seen death.” she giggled and kissed his lips. “Well come on, I have breakfast ready, you need to get up or you will be late for work, Mr. General Manager.”
She poked in that flirty voice he loved and she began to walk away. As she closed the gap between the bed and the door, he watched her figure sway gracefully, a silhouette inside the shear night dress. He called out to her.
“I know it is random but there are days I feel like a drop in the ocean in the world, almost meaningless in its vastness,” he said in a stoic tone. “The fact that you are older than I am and stuff sometimes makes me doubt if I have anything to offer you. That kind of makes me feel a little more a tool than I’d like but there are other days I am glad that I, at least, find some meaning with you, so yeah.”
She was taken aback, paused, smirked and said, “Of course. Have you met me? I’m a gem.”
She smacked her behind and walked out before shouting out from the hallway, “I love you, my little drop in the ocean.”
