Frankly Put: The Safety of Imposter Syndrome
As a budding adult, I’d like to speak to the manager of this whole corporation. Imposter syndrome was not something I thought would be in the hidden clauses of becoming an adult but we need to revise that clause.
It’s ironic how we spend so much time preparing for this part of life, which let’s be honest is the most significant fraction of our time on this earth, only to end up feeling so unprepared. It’s pretty much a case of being given all the tools for the work but once we step into the field it is like all the knowledge evaporates.
Everybody is winging it and yet none of us seems to fly smoothly. We joke about it but imposter syndrome got us down on our luck so bad. We are put in situations we are very much well-equipped for but we can’t seem to move far within. We have become a generation cursed with too much knowledge that we suffer in the form of a lack of action.
By definition, imposter syndrome is this inability to acknowledge one’s ability and the capacity for achievements that one has within their grasp. It tends to really tackle the ones who are capable of great things and when they are recognized for them, it is like they are blind to their own awesomeness. It’s annoying but it is what it is.
I think it also applies in the same logic to what is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect which leans more towards the way someone who may not be as well versed in a subject matter believes themselves to be an unrivalled force in that field. Paraphrasing, of course, but I think the picture is clear now.
When I reflect upon it, I think that a lot of my life has recently shifted to be one of “imposter syndrome” and I think I miss the audacity of thinking I am good at something I am really not that great at. There have been times I would love to get back that audacity if only to take the first step into something like a project or some form of daunting endeavour.
At the same time, there comes this faux humility with imposter syndrome that I can’t stand, even from within myself. To put it bluntly, I think in some ways imposter syndrome is a mask behind which sometimes we judge people who are already doing things on the ground from our high horse of ability with no action.
More often than not the situation would play to the tune of believing you have this entrepreneurial spirit within you with all that you know. All these ideas and dreams that you can think up with the knowledge but when it comes down to it, execution is where we draw the line. There is this comfort in believing that the best we can do is offer criticisms to the people who are actualizing things with the minimums they have.
I’ve caught myself more and more in the position of “coach”. When it comes to advise and gameplays, there I am with command and experience in dishing them out like Oprah. When the shoe is on the other foot, I cannot seem to keep the ball rolling. It’s like, “I mean, anyone can do it so me doing it is nothing special or outstanding.”
Any praise that is packaged in these experiences feels alien and unwarranted regardless of how good the intention behind them is. The top is lonely and I think we all have that idea thus acknowledging that we have the capacity to get to that top is not worth the sacrifice of community. They say the nail that sticks out is likely to be the one the hammer hits back down.
There is something so alluring about people who are able to take the first step. Yes, they may not be as knowledgeable but the experience behind doing the actual thing is more valuable than the knowledge of how to do it. The saying goes, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I wish that I caught this a lot sooner than now but I suppose we work with it now.
There is this sense of achievement in ticking the “I did it” box of the things in life that I’ve been chasing lately. Not because I got it right the first time but because every chance at it is an opportunity to experience and living the moment with limited expectations of perfection allows me to find that perfection in the imperfect.
Sure that piece may not have been written in the right grammatical format but it felt real and raw. Sure that performance fell short of the emotional impact I was going for but I felt every word I said and so did someone in the crowd. Sure I may have brought out that point of discussion in a jagged way but everyone is talking about it now.
These gaps we go into life with tend to find a way of being filled in ways we don’t even quite recognize was the right fit for the puzzle we were trying to put together. Sometimes, we know too much for our own good and we dig the hole deeper when we start to tarnish what we don’t know as failures that need to be corrected and until it is so, we cannot move.
Henceforth, I purpose to hold hands with this imposter syndrome and try to push it just enough for the opportunity to learn because being a student is the best thing one can be in this life. If the syndrome will be there, then let me embrace this identity of being an imposter by taking up space in places it feels like I don’t quite belong just yet.
The safety of imposter syndrome is starting to feel like a danger to me, maybe I need the prick of it back… to put it Frankly.
