Frankly Put: The Greatest Gift of Intentionality
I am writing this, sitting alone with my thoughts and when you get to read this, perhaps we would have made it to the new year, if so Happy New Year! If this never makes it out, well it might just remain like that.
Every so often I have found myself questioning the viability of “selflessness”. In truth, couldn’t it be said that even selflessness in and of itself is selfish? Like I am selfless because it feels good to be. It is a valuable trait to have. Does that not still lean to an inward-looking reward regardless of intention? Am I still not the main benefactor of my selflessness?
Perhaps, I like to balance the thought in my brain to try and argue out the positive nature of selfishness so it doesn't feel so intrusive whenever I do something for myself. More specifically, something I would willingly let myself do for someone else without questioning how hard the task is. I live in a generation that is trying to normalize what we believe is positive selfishness in the name of self-love. In some form or shape, we moulded this perspective to see it through the looking lens of intention.
In my definitely unbiased opinion, I believe “intention” to be a crazy superpower to have. Not that it would have a cool name to give the hero that wields it (Intention Man doesn’t sound so super) but if you think about it, it is a superpower that every hero has. Better yet it is one we all possess in our own right as regular citizens of Earth -616. I mean, aren’t we all the heroes in our stories? Granted I know a few anti-heroes here and there but I digress.
A while back I made the resolution to be intentional about being intentional and while it wasn’t a New Year’s resolution, it’s been stuck for quite some time and I think in my introspection I have found the greatest gift it has given me. I didn’t go looking for this gift, I mean my love language is definitely not gift giving but it actually did find me in my love language. It did through the question “How has this served me?”
Bear with me now, I believe that the greatest gift being intentional has gifted me is time. A wicked thought but I think I traced enough loops to get to this conclusion. This is in no way supposed to be some “meaning to life” type thing but hey, these are my thoughts so I’m allowed a little bit of philosophical pizzazz from time to time. Sue me.
The reason I say that it is the greatest gift is that anything else that is resulting might only be subservient to time. An example, I am talking to someone with whom I seek some form of relationship. Let’s say friendship because I think it is the most misunderstood one. For me to get that relationship I must and I repeat, must state my intention to form the said relationship.
If I fail to do so, well it will always kinda float and be neither here nor there with a lot of grey areas. I lose time floating around in a sea of a wishy-washy type of connection with the person, never truly enjoying the true depth of that friendship. I could save time and learn that I can finally breathe in the depths of it by swimming down there. Otherwise, I would be unsure if I could and like the frog in the water, will die because I constantly readjust to the heat of mediocrity in this pot rather than jumping out when I can.
That being said, I enjoy the beauty of that formed relationship as a direct result of the time that is invested in it. The time that I can only save by being intentional. Catch the drift? I could go on and on with all the loops that I found but I end up at this final thought.
Knowing this, I found a new question to ask, “What do I feel about intentions and stating them?” Scared? Sometimes. Uncomfortable? A little bit. Oh, double-edged sword that is self-awareness, why must you cut me to prove a point when giving me that strength to cut down the fears that would stop me from seeking truth?
Another question that came up was, “What stops me from being intentional where I fail to be?” I suppose that to be the remedy to the thought. I have said it before, an ideology I hold, if there is no reason why you should not, why not?
I’ll admit that the more I see to it that I spend a bit more time sharpening my axe, the more I am seeing the efficiency of the self-work. Will there still be times I fail at asking what I may deserve? Well, bad habit of a middle child. I think it has opened up a new way to look at my 24hours and it may be a little romantic but it works for me.
Our days are numbered, every day we are given a chance to look for different ways to learn to live. A lecturer of mine once said, “Time is the one resource we have a lot of but not enough of”. Each day, it rings a little louder when I am wasting it in lukewarm waters.
The next time I say “I can make time”, it is simply an affirmation of my intentions so I will use it sparingly and hold it’s value, to put it Frankly.
