Frankly Put: Learning Self-Belief to Achieve Your Inner Child’s Dreams
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Or so the question goes — an open-ended question on a devilishly impressionable mind.
Unsurprisingly, the answers have the same range as the difference in size between an atom and a star. From imitations of their surrounding adults to simple actions they think are jobs. The aspirations are sometimes overwhelming… but the reasoning can be so simple. It figures that the same goals expressed in the same way by what one would consider an adult can be considered childish.
This assumption that reality must follow a certain path to “make sense” can be a hustle to navigate. Satisfaction is a carrot on a stick we are chasing, holding one in our hand. Being a grown-up has its perks. It also sucks in equal or to be fair, in greater measure. No wonder we complicate things; to give ourselves some self-importance. Any answer that seems too simple is “not well thought out” or “far too tiny to count”. Maybe I want to be an ice cream taster because that is what I like and that makes sense. Besides, aren’t grown-ups allowed to do whatever they want? At least, that’s what is advertised.
No wonder we race to grow up. This glittery gift that one is handed whether or not they want it. “At some point, you just need to grow up” echoes the unruly chant of responsibilities and you will be expected to know what it entails and act like a grown-up. I mean, half of us are just making things up as we go, the other is split between never actually growing up and just being a mirror image of a caricature with no real substance or depth or actualization of self.
What do you need to be a grown-up? I’d imagine a child's brain would question. First and foremost, responsibility. The ability to make decisions without being questioned on your approach and people assume that you just might know what you are doing, simply by the number of times you have ridden the earth around the sun. The capacity to hold your traumas and give them names. The ability to move past your big emotions — that’s a big one — and do what needs to be done. Beyond this, a myriad of other things to put on the CV of life, mostly depending on your circumstances in life but you kind of get the gist of it.
I suppose the next onset of questions would be along the lines of what you need to be what you want to be. It’s again dependent on what you want to be but at the core, there may be some connected tissue. Points like competency — be it under 10,000 hours or natural-born talents. Of course, it helps to be good at the thing you want to do. I also believe passion is a thing in it, you know? The thing to get you up in the morning to continue doing the very thing you are doing. Interest would be number 3. If you have no desire to be in the space, you would not want to be that thing you are trying to be.
Fourth, audacity. Okay, okay, we can pronounce it confidence and belief in self. It pays to believe in yourself first, before turning to people for that validation. There are times when there is no one in your corner and it feels like it is you against the world trying to achieve this seemingly impossible thing. They don’t see what you see and you could try and explain it to them but they may not understand the depth of this thing. Sometimes, it is that deep. Yes, some may see the vision but not many are willing to be in the heat of the kitchen with you. Still, you must cook.
Where do you store this newfound self-belief? Admittedly, it’s hard to carry it in your hands when you are expected to be the same person clapping for yourself. You can’t put it in the back of your mind because then you don’t see it in your face every day and you open yourself to the possibility of lack of “object permanence”. Out of sight, out of mind. This is just me but I figured out a simple way to interweave it into my life.
“If there is no reason why not? Why not?” It sounds simple now… but that’s probably because it is. If you can do something… Just do it. Don’t take too long thinking about it and over time, it might just translate into the big dreams. It starts with just building up the muscle to pick up things where you are capable and carry these things. The action will snowball and get bigger and bigger and bigger. It’s easier said than done when you have already created patterns and an approach to life. It’s easy to start from a point of doing things to seek validation because a lot of life is centred around that. Unless you happen to be very self-centred bearing in mind there is a thin line we dance between confidence and arrogance.
When I think about the question, I think about the approach one of my mentors used, when I was just a wee lad. So you have this dream, right? This vision of what your future looks like. You, on the other hand, have you — a list of attributes, character traits, abilities and circumstances. How do you allow them to meet in the middle? What are actionable points in the way you attach them? Is it lowering your goals to where you are or raising the version of yourself to meet your goals? I mean, the obvious choice is to raise the version of yourself but do not be so hasty, don’t be so ignorant to think life would not demand the latter of you.
Think about it deeply and do not just assume it is about learning self-belief to achieve your inner child’s dream… to put it Frankly.
