Frankly Put: Gifted Kid Burn-out
There is some kind of catharsis to finding things in life that you relate to. Lately, what used to be things played for laughs alone, became excuses to let out relatable descriptions of heavy topics in the name of humour and we call them memes and damn, these memes have hands.
They often say that humour is a coping mechanism that our brains use to get past the difficult things or soften them. A prime example; Chandler from the show Friends and how he could slip in those one-liners and sarcastic remarks into difficult times. This is a realization that has me looking at the class clown characters or the “funny” ones, especially outside their element of making people laugh. I look at the ones who were always there for people, always a helping hand. The ones who were friends with everybody. Where are they now?
Looking further down the barrel of the gun that is secondary school has me trying to draw lines between the things I thought I knew and the realizations that the reality of the ground smacks me with on a day-to-day. It is only in looking at it now that I see how true the sentiment is that some people peak at that point in life and I can’t seem to create some other kind of future for them. The “gifted kids” are shot into lives that burn them out early.
Further down the line, to as far as primary school and it becomes a little more clear. Before joining secondary school, I remember something I was told, that became repeated: C students often become the successful ones, B students often maintain that position, and A students come to work for C students. Perhaps it is the school system that set it up like so, given that it really is just a system of accolades or was — I don’t know what CBC is doing right or wrong. Those who passed me in KCPE didn’t manage to do as well in their KCSE papers and I sit here thinking, is there actually some gratification from that thought?
The child that didn’t do very well in primary found themselves forced to work harder to achieve the desired grade and more often than not turn into A students in secondary. After getting that A, it becomes an expectation that they become one of the big three; doctors, engineers or lawyers. Does it matter that they may not be built for the career path? No. For real, this is not an efficient structure because University cares not for who you were or the grades you got. Whether you peaked in primary or secondary, the results seem to follow the same trend. Of things I wish I was told…
Now the kids are playing burnout bingo to see just how messed up they are. They are wondering why the things they loved to do now feel as empty as their efforts to achieve as much as they did. They are wondering where their motivation for life went and whether they could get them back. The terrifying realization that once they lost the status of the “smart” kid, they had nothing left to them and the existential dread follows.
I have sat through many a conversation with people who have found themselves studying to be a doctor, engineer, architect, lawyer, whatever, out of the sheer lack of self outside their academics. I have met the students that were once top of the class, scraping by for the bare minimum to make it past years because they don’t care but their fixed mindset won’t let them ever accept failure. “Bora I just pass,” they say. I have interacted with those who have been reduced to partaking in the only things that help them make sense of life anymore. To think that those were “creme de la creme”.
There is this development of some superiority complex that while some have the ability to recognize, others find their detriment in. The acceptance of failure is not quite on the table and thus the default response to not getting something the first time around is to quit before it bruises an ego. There is this drive to be “perfect” and it stems from being recognized as just that in the past.
While it is true that not all “gifted kids” may hit the wall and actually go on to succeed, I wonder how aware they are as to how deep these things run. I watch the frustration of the students around me manifest like a small flame that may one day come to burn them down. Is it not supposed to be a good thing to be gifted? Aren’t we supposed to be great at what we put our hearts into? Why is it that the punishment for it to peak too early and fall?
Knocking on wood for all the people who have met the wall and toppled from greatness, for those who are pushing through burnout to try to produce the same results they used to, for the ones who are trying to find more to themselves than just the grades they get and the ones who are trying to revive dead passions and hobbies to try and escape the pressures their gifts have fanned.
May you either find something you love or come to love the things that you do. Learn to do them through failure and reinvent your image, I mean that is a gift that humans have too. If only to give a word of encouragement, it may take some time to come to the realization that burnout is here but may that awareness find you. Allow yourself to accept it and work to minimize it. I wish I could find a better way to package all my thoughts but I suppose this is all I shall say.
The kids are gifted, burnt out and their coping mechanisms are now personalities, to put it Frankly
