Frankly Put: Dealing With Redundant New Year Resolutions
Before we realized it, December has come around—like it does, every year. No surprises here. Another year is down the line, another year older and New Year's resolutions are somewhat brewing. For some though, they have been for a while; depending on how you mark your new year.
Over the years, the form that these lists of decisions and standings have taken is one so integrated into life it has become more than just an annual ritual. Admittedly, it’s made the crossover a little less “new.” Whilst a bulk of them still maintain a home in that milestone, quite a number have become littered throughout based on many metrics. Be it birthdays, financial calendars, or school/job calendars. The bottom line is that circumstance determines what they could be. They may not be one-year deadlines either.
Still, I don’t think anything can fully dilute the silent reflection of watching fireworks go off on the last night of the year. Into a few short moments, we squeeze both a gratitude for what has been and an excitement of what could be or is to come. These checklists we carry within ourselves or sometimes in the form of vision boards, give a sense of adventure to life that can spice things up whenever it starts to feel bland. Yet within these checklists, a handful refuse to assume the tick. A stubborn few repeating students.
One ponders the reasons for repetition. I think of how many things I have been too lazy or unmotivated to achieve. The things that suffered the undeserved fate of procrastination. The hope of “next time” or “later”. Some of them are small enough to fit in a few minutes, a little bit of effort or just a pinch of attention. Others are too big to hold hands with. The creation of space for these can feel like uprooting life itself to achieve.
I think of those that got derailed by circumstance. The sharp right and left turns of life have broken the line of focus so badly that the milestone loses its priority for a split second too long and unfortunately slides into oblivion until records are being taken at the end of the year to check in with the goals set by a past me. A slight sting of disappointment, muddied by the surprise of finding them again.
What about the ones who forgot themselves and failed to join me on the road to the life I dream for myself? The ones that begin to feel like unnecessary friction that belabours the journey there. Like a new friend with whom every step feels like learning all the ways we differ and all the values that seem to not help each other on the way forward. The grief of this loss seems to take with it a few unfortunate neighbouring goals nonetheless.
Then some only meet you halfway. Everything was set in place, all the preparations made to be achieved but somehow they seemed just a little too big to fulfil in the time set out. It’s like a meal set when hungry that we were yet to realize how big the plate was. Still, we were hungry but the food got cold a little while ago and we unbuttoned our pants between heaving breaths. The plate is still half full when we are trying to look beyond our protruding tummies to check for progress. It feels slightly wrong. Like we are cheating by packing some of it into take-out boxes and calling it a year. But gluttony never came without consequence.
Still, it’s alright to take a break and open up new opportunities for cycles. I say this taking into account that there are those resolutions that sit on the list in permanent marker. Never to be erased or moved in terms of their priority. Some are never written on the list but still hold unshakable importance to life like breathing. I used to think that an incomplete list of these goals was a sign of failure, at least until I got the space to ask myself who exactly the examiner was. When did I need to submit a grade for this to be considered important enough or valuable? Who confers me the value when I accomplish all this?
Even when erosion takes away the false sense of self-convincing, the questions remain. I am a little tough with myself and sometimes it bleeds through the sleeves. I don’t think it is a bad thing, just needs to be managed. Pruned to be a healthy guide to this thing called life. Softness is just as important but only greatly enjoyed when partaking in success. These cycles don’t necessarily mean that you are stuck in the same place. Even a hurricane though it spins around its eye, walks in a direction.
I’ve been trying to emulate a yo-yo. The fact that it spins is what allows the user to bend and contort the string in cool and interesting shapes. So the cycles we face must become the very thing we use to our advantage. Bend life this way and that but keep spinning because life will only make more sense. Should you stop, you might just hang dead and lifeless. Yes, that resolution has shown up on your list for the past few years but have you given it a chance to get ticked? If so, is it worth putting it aside or dropping it off the list? Sometimes it is a catalyst, you know? Never part of the reaction but able to fuel it. It’s a blank checkbox that moves itself out of the way to make sure others have the opportunity.
I guess the question is, is it really a case of dealing with their redundancy or facing the trained muscle of their repeated comeuppance… to put it Frankly.
