Frankly Put: 5 Reasons Growing Up Sucks Sometimes
For some reason, this has been running circles in my mind, so heck why not write about it?
Perhaps it is a coincidence, perhaps not but it has seemingly come up in conversation more than once and in more than one way. Recently I was chatting with a friend and the main takeaway from it was that this adulting thing is a hoax and we want our money back! The worst part about it is that the older you get the more you realize that there are layers to it like an ogre. It isn’t like being a child where there are distinct stages, one just finds themselves getting adultier and adultier (more adult? meh potato-tomato)
I remember the days where there was some sweet relief in someone calling me an adult, I would store such moments for a rainy day but now I’m an adult and I forget sometimes that I am. Also, maybe my body is just preparing for fatherhood because why am I forgetting my age as well? I recall always thinking that adulthood was it, now maybe not so much to the point, I have thought of how I would sum up some of the things I have learnt if the younger me was to ask.
Loneliness is a self-aware state
So when I say that loneliness is a self-aware state it is that honestly to have your mind open to the fact that some of the people you may call friends are not as deeply rooted as you think and blink twice, they can be gone, is a sobering thought. The circumstances you experience are no longer the same and that is okay. Many problems will come your way and it becomes difficult to lean on people so you have to kind of deal with it yourself because they too have their own mess to deal with.
Being aware of what you need from connections is another thing that is just cold water to the face. The idea that those who surround you may not offer that which you as a person need out of the intimacies of friendship is where it gets lonely. How do you begin to articulate to someone that you do not need what they provide in your life anymore yet they offer you so much? How do you explain the comfort that exists with a new face compared to an old friend? How do you live with outgrowing friendships?
Your superheroes turn human
Oh, how to be raised by Superman and Wonderwoman and have that dream ripped from you is its own Batman origin story. The older you get the more you realize that the capes that parents had shrouded around their shoulders were really just blankets they could have and sometimes should have been used to sleep because heh!
Parents are as human as it comes. It is beautiful how they can assume the roles of the fictional deities we watch on TV in the mind of a child. Sadly, the veil is lifted the older you get. They do actually in fact get tired. They sometimes can’t handle things the world throws at them. They sometimes are not in a position to provide for your every want. They sometimes don’t have the stretch to cover you, protect you from every single thing. They have bad days. They struggle too.
There may come a time when the call would be passed on and we would need to adorn those very capes. So I pray to have that super strength to lift my own as high as I can, x-ray vision to see through the false walls they put up, telepathy to understand what they are yet to learn how to say, an invincible body to protect them from the things they are not strong enough to face yet.
Maybe the realization is that we all have superpowers that we inherit from our parents. Maybe we are all special… “which is just a way of saying no one is.” ~Dash(If you get that reference virtual hi-five— I am speaking to the right people)
Imagination is poisoned by reality
The idea that games could be brought forth with the most mundane of things and the experience in that creation, other-worldly, is such an awe-inspiring thing. To run around waving sticks, shouting Latinized words and calling it magic is such an innocent and novel concept.
Now we just poke holes in the logic knowing that if it was all real, there would be some politics around it and the restrictions and constraints would water down life in that world. Or more realistically the number of “Dark Lords” would be way more than just one.
I sit at my desk, flipping models over and over trying to picture the same utopia I could, playing in the mud but I am forced to layer on limits on limits that just break it down.
Maybe it is also just the constriction of the education system that chamfers at the creative offshoots from anyone. I mean I can’t help but think to myself knowledge is power, yes and we search for education to not be stupid but at points, we are educated to stupidity.
To cut down wings of dreams we paint in imagination is another way of chaining ourselves to the ground with claims to know how the sky tastes, you know?
Learning and Unlearning are self-driven
The older I get the more aware I become of my own bad habits and shortcomings. Some may not be a product of my own efforts but lay within my grasp of control. We unconsciously become sponges to the realities that surround us and the only way to truly understand someone is to understand where they come from.
In this life, there is a lot to learn and consequently a lot to unlearn. We are not always put in the best positions to make the best decisions but it is also your duty outside it to look back and assess what could have been done better and learn the positives from the situation. To unlearn, one must put in the effort to learn and to learn, one must put in the effort to unlearn.
It is an odd pendulum of contradictions, the choices put on the plate stop having guides and your choices have consequences that you become very much aware are tied to the choices you make. Mum and dad aren't always going to be there standing behind you with an eraser or white-out for your mistakes.
Time to yourself is hard to come by
I think to the way as we were getting to high school, my classmates and I would reflect on how we missed the days where the afternoons were set aside for naps and at the time, they were filled with double Biology classes and tests.
I look back on that fondly and I can’t help but laugh. How they don’t tell you that amongst many other things, adulting is just a series of unavoidable responsibilities between the time you open your eyes and shut them. Before I had the time and now, I have to make the time. Time to myself was as easy as just walking to my room and being alone but now time to myself is slotted in the middle of procrastinating other responsibilities or I plan to suffer later so I can make the time.
I think to a time where meeting friends was really whenever, wherever but now it is an issue of is there enough time away from tackling my responsibilities and even so, will I be spending money and will I be able to account for that money? The irony is that I don’t actually hate it. The reason being, now my time and presence have greater value. My peace has greater value.
Adulting is not only growing up but also growing into yourself and you may not like some parts of yourself, which sucks but you are only the limit of yourself, to put it Frankly.
